Carnival is a Drag

When I first came out to my parents several years ago my dad had one major concern. He didn't want me to be one of those guys who dress up like girls. I assured him then, quite truthfully, that I was not one of those guys. I had no desire to dress in drag. And I still don't, well  mostly. But this is carnival, right? And for this one week of the year even completely heterosexual men don dresses and wigs to hit the streets of Sitges. 

So, ladies and gentlemen and the rest of you, I did it. Last night for the very first time (if you ignore that one incident where I tried on my ex-wife's dress while she was away just to see how it felt [Oh, by the way A, do you still have that Matisse dress? I'd love to borrow it sometime.]) I put on a dress. And, since this is Carnival, I did it up. As over-the-top as I could manage. You've heard of those high school girls who win scholarships by constructing their prom outfits from duct tape? That's what I did. A duct tape dress. And since this was drag, I did a duct tape wig as well. And of course I needed a nice little clutch purse to go with it all. 

Now I must admit I cheated a little, so I won't be winning the scholarship. But I somehow guess they wouldn't accept my entry anyway. My boa was regular old feathers. My gloves were normal gloves. And my shoes were leather. But the result (at least I think so) was fabulous. Many people, even those we know well, had no idea who I was. Actually most of those who are drag queens themselves knew instantly. My partner kept making me take off my glasses so I didn't get to see everyone's reactions. But the ones I did see made all the effort worth it. I had a great evening.  

Oh and one more thing before I go. This is to all of those anatomical women out there: STOP SHAVING YOUR ARMPITS! Now. Stop this instant. Why would anyone do that to themselves? It's horrible. And men, stop expecting your women to shave their pits. You should try it. Actually no one should. Ever. I'm just a big painful pile of itchy razor burn under there right now. And I can't think of any non-Masochistic reason why anyone would want to do that to themselves. So stop. Please for the love of all that is holy and non-rash-inducing.