Deb Price of The Detroit News wrote a piece last month about how educators are not only NOT protecting LGBT students from discrimination, but are in fact contributing to the hateful, hurtful environment in which these students find themselves. In her article she focused on a report by the Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network called "Shared Differences." The report took data from more than 2,000 LGBT students of color:
The survey results paint a grim picture of kids so hardened to anti-gay remarks, shoving or worse that they don't even bother reporting the abusive incidents to a school official or parent.
These students rarely read about LGBT people in textbooks, nor do they learn about gay history or people in class.
What they too often learn firsthand is that school is a place where they can expect to be hurt -- emotionally or physically. The predictable but sad result is that many of these kids skip classes and see their grades drop.
Price's article did indicate that schools with LGBT clubs and organizations, supportive administrators, inclusive textbooks, and anti-harassment policies were taking steps in the right direction. The report can be found at glsen.org.
This piece really hits home for me.
Once upon a time, (OMG, like 15 years ago now) I was a gay student. It was, to say the least, a miserable experience for me. I can not fathom how much more difficult it is for a GLBT student of color. It's hard enough just being a teenager. Top all the hormones and pressures from parents and peers and society with a couple of unfortunately ugly stigmas and I don't know how some kids survive. All I can say is you must be very brave, and I salute you.
Then I became a teacher. And you know what? It wasn't any better. I once suggested to another teacher that there was a need for a gay student organization. I was thinking about trying to start a GSA or something. She responded with horror. She told me I didn't want to do that: I'd get run out of town or maybe even shot. I was then only just out of the closet myself. Well, only out to a handful of my friends who I knew were alright. Scary.
I tried to exude tolerance and acceptance in my classroom, but I had gotten a clear message that it wasn't alright to be gay. I tried to be positive and to encourage my student to expose themselves to different viewpoints. But I was terrified at the same time. I was called a faggot numerous times by students. And I didn't know how to rescue my students who were similarly insulted by their peers. I failed them over and over again.
It was the kind of community where young gays didn't come out while still in high school. Occasionally stories would trickle back to me about former students then in college who had come out of the closet. These stories were usually met with disgust. In fact, one student told me that if he ever saw his former best friend again he would kill him. I tried to dissuade him from this stance, saying that he was still the same guy, he just didn't want to date girls anymore. But I don't know if the message got through all the testosterone.
A few lesbians were out. But they were constantly harassed by students, teachers, and administrators. One couple I knew were often cited for public displays of affection. Even while heterosexual couples engaged in heavy petting in the hallways, these young women were berated for kissing. I'm not saying I wanted to see all that, but fair is fair. Or at least it should be. My room became a sort of haven for them. I still discouraged them from making out, but I was honest about it. I just don't have any desire to see teenagers playing tongue hockey.
Probably the most discouraging thing that happened was when a friend and colleague pulled me aside one day. An administrator had given her a message to give to me. I don't know why this administrator didn't approach me directly. Perhaps I would have better understood the intent of her message had she done so. But anyway, my friend pulled me aside one day after school. She said X is really worried about you. X thinks you've been telling too much to some of the other teachers and she's afraid you might get yourself in trouble. I still don't know exactly what she was implying. Did she think I didn't want people to know I was gay? Did she think I might get in legal trouble if a student decided to claim I was being inappropriate? Was it a covert warning that my job was in jeopardy if I came out? Was it a threat to my life? I don't know. But suffice it to say I never felt safe teaching in that environment again. Once I realized the administration wouldn't have my back, I knew I didn't need to be there anymore.
I did teach again a couple of years later. In another school. In another state, also not known for it's acceptance of gays. This time I was gun shy. I still came out to a select group of friends. But I was very much in the closet in my classroom. I still fought the good fight when I felt I could. When students said, "That's so gay." I responded, "Do you mean that's so happy or that's so homosexual?"
People were a little more tolerant at this school. I had one class with two out and outspoken lesbians. Another class had a bisexual girl. And yet another had a boy who identified as bisexual. I tried to be nonplussed by their disclosures (some kids are "out" for the shock value) and always accepting. But I'm sure insults were abundant. And I know there were enough tough gangster-types to make sure the word faggot saw plenty of action.
I just hope I was mostly a positive influence in the lives of these kids, especially the LGBTQ ones. To them: If I ever made things more difficult for you, I apologize now from the bottom of my heart. I hope you can forgive me for not stopping them when they called you faggot. I was scared too. And I stopped them as often as I could. When I called you lesbians, I had heard you using the term among yourselves and I understood the term to have positive power for you. I'm sorry if it seemed like I was calling you out. I meant absolutely no insult by it. I'm proud of your for being able to be true to yourselves. When we made up the word queerdo to talk about how some people view goths, I hope you didn't take it as an insult. It was a joke. I absolutely support your right to be who you are and even if I kid you about it, I think you're great and I hope you're doing alright. Queerdo.
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