This Is How I Remember U.S. History

Via Slog:

The Mysterious Social Habits of the English Perma-Tourist

Aside from the propensity for extreme loudness (a characteristic found in both English and American tourists), the English perma-tourist is also likely to be extraordinarily, even recklessly friendly to other English-speakers. An example: 

My partner and I went out Saturday night with the intention of attending one of the gay-specific (pre-)Carnival events. We missed it. But we did end up in one of our preferred music bars later in the evening. This particular place caters to a gay clientele but also garners a significant heterosexual following because of its excellent music and friendly atmosphere. 

My partner made the acquaintance of a couple from the UK who had ensconced themselves at a table. The usual intoxicated greetings were exchanged, including names which were forgotten. I'll call them J and C. J is a young man from near Birmingham. If he were gay he would be on the young extreme of exactly my type: stocky, chiseled, tough-ish (I should add here in case he ever reads this: I find the fact that he's not gay an absolute turn off). His fiance, C is possibly one of the loveliest women ever produced by the British Isles. She's well-proportioned and blonde with a sweet yet outgoing disposition. And the two of them are absolutely devoted to one another. 

They were biding their time until they could meet up with a bartender friend at another bar which didn't open until later. Within five minutes my partner had invited them come up to our flat for a drink while we waited for the other bar to open. We didn't know these guys from Adam. They very well could have been modern Europe's answer to Bonnie and Clyde. But they weren't, not that I didn't quietly boil with angst about the possibility all night long. 

Actually they were absolutely wonderful guests. We had a great time hanging out with them. Thankfully they didn't seem too bothered about the mess in the flat. (If it were up to me, I wouldn't invite anyone to the flat unless I had specifically spent at least a day cleaning in anticipation.) C needed to crash for a while (Spanish bars open much later and Spanish alcohol portions are much more generous than those in the UK). So we three guys hung out and talked. 

J turned out to be a great guy. Thankfully he was confidant enough in his sexuality to not be threatened by a couple of fags. In fact, when it became apparent that C's nap was going to eat through his chance to meet his friend he was cool enough to accompany me to the club and then another gay bar afterward. It's always good for one's street cred to show up at the late a.m. sauna bar with a handsome aparently straight guy. We ultimately didn't find his friend and ended up heading back to the flat in the predawn hours (he only slightly shaken from being cruised hard at the sauna). Before those of you with dirty minds conjure up images of a menage a quatre, they slept on the blow-up bed in the living room.

So while I do find my partner's outgoing behavior bizarre, even reckless, it does often yield enjoyable results. How often does one get to spend his Valentines Day bar crawling with a handsome straight couple?

When I Was Your Age Cigarettes Were Made Out of Paper and Tobacco...and They Caused Cancer

Genius! 

The folks over on Slog posted an item about the Electronic Cigarette, or (get this) the E Cigarette, from a company called Smoking Everywhere. Their Web site includes a how-to video:

Another company, Green Smoke also has a site here. I'm sure there are others. 

Dear god, why didn't I know about this before I tried to quit smoking? Hell, why stay quit? This makes me want to smoke again. But hey, I can smoke and not smoke at the same time. And nobody has to know. There's even a little light on the end that makes it look like a real tar, carbon monoxide, sixty chemicals known to cause cancer type cigarette. And you can even blow smoke! But it's harmless vapor! No more bitching about second hand smoke. No more hacking one's lungs out every morning. No more tar colored teeth. 

I haven't been able to find the down side yet, other than you have to charge the thing. But I can handle that. Half of my life these days has to be plugged into the wall at night so I can use it again tomorrow. Is this the cigarette of the future? I'm all excited. Smoking was totally my favorite thing in the world. And I hated like Hell having to quit. Now I can start a new habit. Hooray for addiction!

Nobody Blogs on Weekends

It's lonely in here on weekends. My podcasts don't update. My friends...I mean the people whose blogs I read don't often update their blogs. I guess everybody else has a life of their own. Well ladies and gentlemen and the rest of you, I haven't abandoned the internet. I'm still here being outraged at the right-wingnuts' assholery. I'm still battling through my own self-medication to bring you the latest thing that will provide you a moment of distraction. 

Like this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eeH4sXraeoE

Pretty cool huh? Oh, you forgot I was still here? I don't blame you. Well, maybe I'll see you monday. 

Evander is a funny name

I meant to blog at least once every day. That was my one New Year's resolution. But first there was the hangover, then the flu. Now it's another one of those dreary days when the rain in Spain does not stay mainly in the plain. My laundry is getting wet. My brain is full of yesterday and empty of the right words. I'm calling in seasonal affect disordered. 

Yesterday was our fourth anniversary. In gay years that's at least silver. We went out for drinks at Horno for happy hour, where Si did work on his blackberry. Then we came back to the flat for Si to do some more work. Then we went out for dinner at our favorite restaurant, El Celler Vell. They were closed for vacation. Businesses do that here, just close up for a few weeks every year. Some even close up for the off-season. So we went a couple of doors down to Ogmios (no Web site), where Si did work on his blackberry. We've been meaning to go in there for a while, but haven't managed it until last night. The food was quite good. I'm always up for trying new things. They have Kangaroo on the menu. And ox. And salmon carpaccio. All of which were lovely. And I swear I once used the wall colors when I painted a bedroom. 

Then we went out for one drink at B Sides, where Si did work on his blackberry. Are you sensing a theme? Just one drink turned into three as it tends to at B Sides. So by the time we left we were pretty much ready to hit one more bar on the way home. It's sad, this alcoholic life, no? 

The themes of my current life: procrastination, Si working 24/7, and self medicating. 

Well now class, it may not be pretty, but at least we've written something today.